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I’m playing Dungeons & Dragons for the first time this weekend. I’ve already decided that my character is going to be a three-breasted, pizza-delivering high elf mage. can I do that? if I can’t make that happen, I don’t know if I want to play. three boobs and the ability to shoot icicles from my delicate elven nipples or gtfo.

  • Me:

    are you gonna take a bath?

  • Moms:

    yeah but I'm just taking a slut bath

  • Me:

    a what

  • Moms:

    a slut bath

  • Me:

  • Moms:

    I'm jus cleaning my cooch and my butthole

  • Me:

    omg

nighttime

is the right time


for sandwiches.

you thought I was going to be witty or insightful, right? nah. I’m just hungry.

also,

fuck. I was actually going to write something insightful and wise but I don’t remember what it was. what a funny life I lead.

darksilenceinsuburbia:

Rithika Merchant

From Magical Thinking

taekoyasuhiro:

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friend ?????!?

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fr iend!! !!!

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im coming friend

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im here i love u

asks:
I LOVE YOUR BLOG SOOOO SO MUCH OMG COULD YOU DRAW A COMIC INVOLVING MERMAIDS AND MAYBE A DRAGON FOR ME

floccinaucinihilipilificationa:

I HAVE THE HEADCANON THAT DRAGONS THINK THAT MERMAIDS ARE SUPER COOL BECAUSE THEY LIVE IN WATER AND STUFF

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crazyeasy:

Finally a sunscreen for me. A manly man. A real man’s man. Thank god a sunscreen I can finally use. I have been getting sunburnt my whole life waiting for this. Can’t use the other feminized sunscreens. Can’t risk losing my man card. Finally. Sunscreen in a black bottle. FOR MEN.

crazyeasy:

Finally a sunscreen for me. A manly man. A real man’s man. Thank god a sunscreen I can finally use. I have been getting sunburnt my whole life waiting for this. Can’t use the other feminized sunscreens. Can’t risk losing my man card. Finally. Sunscreen in a black bottle. FOR MEN.