I’m playing Dungeons & Dragons for the first time this weekend. I’ve already decided that my character is going to be a three-breasted, pizza-delivering high elf mage. can I do that? if I can’t make that happen, I don’t know if I want to play. three boobs and the ability to shoot icicles from my delicate elven nipples or gtfo.
are you gonna take a bath?
yeah but I'm just taking a slut bath
a slut bath
I'm jus cleaning my cooch and my butthole
is the right time
you thought I was going to be witty or insightful, right? nah. I’m just hungry.
fuck. I was actually going to write something insightful and wise but I don’t remember what it was. what a funny life I lead.
fr iend!! !!!
im coming friend
im here i love u
I HAVE THE HEADCANON THAT DRAGONS THINK THAT MERMAIDS ARE SUPER COOL BECAUSE THEY LIVE IN WATER AND STUFF
Finally a sunscreen for me. A manly man. A real man’s man. Thank god a sunscreen I can finally use. I have been getting sunburnt my whole life waiting for this. Can’t use the other feminized sunscreens. Can’t risk losing my man card. Finally. Sunscreen in a black bottle. FOR MEN.